Quarter life shower

"I don't want to go to work anymore."

That has been on repeat inside my mind for the past 3 weeks of malingering and not going to work.

On my first week of absence, I thought, I'd go to work the week after. That I just needed a breather. Then, I was absent again the week after. And I thought of the same thing I thought before. I just needed a longer breather. Even promised myself that that time I'll definitely go to work. That I'll start over again. Will never, ever be late or absent. Hit the targets. Bring home the bacon. But as the popular saying goes, "Promises are meant to be broken."

Almost one month of being absent, I decided, suck it. I'll go to work.

As I was showering, there it goes again. The feeling of dread.

"I don't want to go to work anymore."

I contemplated. What is it that I dread in coming to work? Is it the high volume of calls? or the fact that I hate my schedule being not in sync with my roommate?

Both.

Alright. Say, I find a job that will be in accordance with my roommate's schedule, will it motivate me to go to work knowing for a fact that when I come home, there's someone I can talk to? However, is it good that I'm prioritizing my love life over my job when I should be nurturing my career instead?

But then again, I thought, I don't really like this job. I hate talking to people I don't see. I hate saying the same things over and over again for 8 back-breaking hours. I don't consider this as my career. And this job has just aggravated my back pain and hyperacidity.

But what will I do? I can't be a nurse. There's just no opportunity for it.

Screw it. I'm resigning. I'm going to create my own business. or get a home-based job. That's what I thought while towel drying my hair.

PS. Welcome to my blog. Sorry for the worst first blog ever.